A constituição da parentalidade na adoção tardia

Abstract

A late adoption process involves the peculiar needs of each individual and representations of their psychic histories, which directly reflect on the relationship to be established. The situations of broken ties, rejections, negligence and violence experienced by the child significantly influence the development of the parent-child relationship. The constitution of the mother/father figure is also affected by these unhealed wounds of children, as well as by losses, suffering and narcissistic failures of the adopters themselves. This study aimed to analyze and understand the experience of adoptive parents in relation to the constitution of their parenting in the late adoption of children. This is a qualitative research developed through case studies. Participants were 5 mothers and 1 father who adopted children older than 2 years and/or adolescents. The adoptive parents answered a sociodemographic questionnaire, a semi-structured interview and participated in the Family Drawing with Story (DF-E) procedure. Data analysis was systematized through Minayo's content analysis and data interpretation was based on Winnicott's psychoanalytic theoretical framework and current literature on the subject. The data collected enabled the elaboration of three thematic categories: 1. Deromantization of parenting: fears, challenges and grieving experiences of the idealized child (biological and adoptive) and the idealized family; 2. Parent-child bonding in late adoption: the weight of the past and its repercussions; and 3. The participation of psychology in the constitution of adoptive parenting. In view of the discussions arising from the analyzed data, it was understood that in the path of late adoption, parents may encounter some obstacles to the constitution of their parenthood, such as the stigmas experienced in childhood, the desire to reproduce in adult life an ideal family model that was not experienced in childhood, or even the romanticization of motherhood/paternity through the idealization of a perfect adopted child and a perfect family relationship, without mishaps in the dynamics of functioning. The unresolved mourning for the biological child, as well as the fears, prejudices and resistance to late adoption were also obstacles that make it difficult to accept the reality established by the adoption process, especially at the beginning of it, since the adaptation period of the adoption requires that the parents know how to deal with the past history of the adopted child, working on jealousy, supporting the faults of the biological parents, without trying to erase or belittle the child's past, seeking, according to Winnicott's theory, to understand the initial dynamics of the child's life and what handling is necessary in order to provide a good enough environment for her development and the consolidation of a true affective bond. It was also verified the relevance of adoption support groups in raising awareness and demystifying late adoption and in facing the expectations and anxieties of adoptive parents, as well as the importance of psychological support and the indispensable role of the psychologist before, during and after adoption, enabling a welcoming space and listening to motivations, fantasies, fears and uncertainties, thus contributing to the elaboration of contents of the psyche of these parents, as well as to overcoming challenges arising from family life, redefining feelings and consolidating the bond parental-filial. Finally, it is concluded that the way parents elaborate their subjective experiences and welcome the difficulties of the adoption process, through mutual adoption, can enable the construction of an affective bond in the parent-child relationship.